with all my heart.

Friday, August 18, 2006

had PFT yesterday and today. ran at a timing of 17.19. like shit. after the run, i dropped flat on the ground. haha. yuxiu had to pull me up. went back to class, muscles ached like MAD. BOO.

5 stations today. standing broad jump was like shit. dun wana talk about it. sit and reach. 35 cm only. BAH. sit ups. dun wana talk about it. INCLINED PULL UPS! I JUST HAD TO DO 1 MORE TO GET AN A!! JUST 1 MORE. BOOOOOOOOOO. shuttle run. hmm. quite happy with it. 11.8((: got a B. but my overall marks sucks. think i just passed. oh well. i still thank God for giving the strength to do everything((: now my whole body is aching like MAD.

im really unhappy being with THEM. but, i cant show it. im afraid if i show it, the whole thing will start again. like that happened 3 weeks ago. im real afraid. i feel im like a rubberband. one which is gona snap anytime. i dun like seeing the both of them so close. they keep secrets to themselves. they have suddenly become sooooooo close. they talk and talk and talk. sometimes i just duno what the hell they're talking about. funny how i can be with them and laugh and smile at them. it might be fake. even i myself duno. BAH. this thing is getting worst. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT IM GOING THROUGH? apparently at this time, NO.

today, it happened again. SHE just went over to HER place, sat next to HER and started talking. i was feeling ROTTEN. like im some kinda idiot. i looked at her, then she just looked back at me. NO ONE KNEW HOW I FELT. in school, i laugh and smile at them and all. but. somehow i feel its not real. i dun even know for sure whether its real. i dun wana bring this whole matter up again, but i would have really snapped if i didnt. BAH. why is this happening?? WHY??)):

IS LIFE EVER BEAUTIFUL?

9:09 AM